Men Without Chests

“We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and then bid the geldings to be fruitful.” C.S. Lewis

The above quote is from one of my favorite authors, C.S. Lewis. Even though he wrote those words over 50 years ago in England they still ring true for 21st Century America, perhaps now more than ever.

Let me offer an example, one taken from popular culture, on the TV show "Survivor". I seldom watch this show, but once in a while I’ll catch part of it. One thing that strikes me about it is that a person can make a promise to someone, shake hands on it, swear to God, or swear on their mother’s grave, or swear on anything you care to name, then go back on their word. Their excuse is always “I’m playing the game”, and the other surviving participants nod approvingly. How in the name of God did we ever reach a point where someone would give their word, on national TV, then immediately and intentionally break that word, also on national TV, and not become a social outcast? There was a time when someone who did such a thing would have been voted off the island at the very next tribal council and would have been a pariah when they returned home. As the young ape in the original Planet of the Apes movie asked, “What ever happened to honor?”

We’ve raised a generation of men who’ve been told that it’s entirely up to the woman whether she wants to bear a child, but if she does he’s totally financially responsible for that child for the next eighteen years. We wonder why there are so many men who consider their parental responsibilities to begin and end with mailing a child-support check. We’ve raised a generation of people who denigrate strength and heroism as “macho BS” then wonder why, when an emergency happens, there’s no one to hide behind. We’ve raised a generation of people who consider honor to be quaint, old fashioned, and out of vogue and wonder why we now have a generation of people who will lie, cheat and steal in order to get what they want. We’ve raised a generation of people who are told that their own self-esteem is the most important thing in the world and wonder why people are so selfish. We make light of marital vows and wonder why so many marriages end in divorce.

Perhaps I’m the dinosaur I’ve been accused of being. I believe that there’s a way to act toward others and most definitely a way not to act. To my immense shame I don’t always live up to that standard, but when I don’t the problem is with me, not with the standard. “If at first you don’t succeed, lower your standards” is the slogan of a person who will never accomplish anything, and it’s the slogan of a nation that’s in a downward spiral.

I try not to write these entries that identify a problem without offering a solution. In this case I'll start my solution with a reference to two more popular culture icons, two people who rank high on my list of annoying people but who, in this case, are dead right in what they say. These two people are Oprah and Dr Phil, they say these two things repeatedly, I don't know who said either first and I also don't really care. They say that (1) you teach people how to treat you and (2) when someone shows you what kind of person they are, believe them. If someone makes a promise to you and breaks it and their excuse amounts to "I wanted to" don't give them the chance to do it again. If a company does business with you dishonestly and says "That's just the way the business is" don't do any further business with them and insist that everyone you know avoid them. When your elected officials promise you something and do the exact opposite once their elected don't vote for them next time. People lie to us and cheat us because we've taught them that they can with impunity. It's about time to stop that. As always the solution begins with the individual. If I can quote one more cultural icon, John Wayne in "The Shootist" said "I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted, and I won't be laid a hand on. I don't do these things to other people and I expect the same from them." One could do worse than to live one's life by this standard.